Plumbing for Lotion

Residential · Commercial

System overview · Sheet 1 of 1

Lotion, on demand,
in every room.

Trunk, riser, drop. The same discipline a building already accepts for air and for water, applied to the one fluid every household buys in small containers and carries around by hand.

The system

Section through a three-storey building: a plant room feeds a vertical riser, which feeds one drop per room. ROOF RISER DROP PLANT
One plant, one riser, one drop per room. Nothing here is novel. That is the argument.
Plant
Bulk reservoir, pump set, and the warming loop, sited where the water heater already is.
Riser
One vertical run per stack. Sized on the fluid, which is where this stopped for a while.
Drop
A dispensing point per room. Bathroom, bedroom, kitchen, vestibule, pew.
Fit
New build and gut renovation. Retrofit into a finished wall is a conversation, not a product.

The Stepstone Viscosity Ladder

The pressure spec could not be written, because the fluid had never been classified. Nobody had measured lotion. The whole residential dream was resting on a number that did not exist, so the spec was shelved and the classification standard was started in its place.

The Ladder fixes one reference point and rates everything else against it. Mustard is the reference at exactly 1.000 mustards. It was not chosen for elegance. It was chosen for the Emerson affair, in which mismatched pipe infrastructure met the wrong fluid, and the consequences were instructive.

Draft 1. Rungs are published as they are fixed, and not before.
Substance Rating Status
Mustard 1.000 mu Fixed. Immovable.
Lotion, standard Under measurement
Lotion, thickened Under measurement
Everything else pumpable Queued behind lotion

A rung with no number is not an omission. It is the state of the field.

The book

There is a book about the system, and an audiobook of the book. The book is not a manual and does not contain the spec, for the reason given above. It is the case for why a building should carry lotion at all, which is the part people argue with first and the part no diagram settles.

Availability

Not yet installable. There is no order form on this page and there will not be one until a riser can be sized, which means until the Ladder has a lotion rung on it. Enquiries about the standard are more useful right now than enquiries about the pipe.